What a roller coaster!

We've had quite a ride these past two days. We met Matthew yesterday around 3:00. He came into the conference room very shy, very frightened. He had a backpack on and also the director had a bag of things for him. When he walked into the room he shrunk back and was reluctant to come to us. However with some coaxing he came in, came to me and stood there. Of course everyone started speaking to him, and he became more confused. I held his hand, which he allowed, the girls each handed him a gift and David came over and knelt by him. Matthew continued to be shy and frightened by not duly alarmed.
The aunties had Matthew give each of us a gift of yogurt and to Baba he gave an orange. It was obvious that he was becoming quite upset. One of the gifts the girls gave him was a watch which he put on and now was pushing every button and not wanting to put up his head.
When Catherine, our guide, had me, Dave and Matthew sit together for our family picture was when the dam broke! Matthew began to cry, wail and hurt. He threw his head back, opened his mouth and just began to howl with grief. It did not help that everyone was "talking" to him to get him to look at the camera. As he was on my lap I tried to comfort him as best as I could but it was to no avail. Dave finally asked them to give him a moment. It was so heartbreaking.
Matthew was finally able to stop crying enough for the photo but he wanted NOTHING to do with us! He only wanted the ayis. Catherine was great and had the ayis leave and tried to talk with Matthew; it was obvious he only wanted to leave. We then went up to our room. Matthew only wanted to hold Catherine's hand. When we got into the room the drama only increased!
Matthew wailed and screamed, threw himself onto the floor, tried to scratch himself, he hit his head on the wall and kept trying to run to the door. Dave was on his knees stopping Matthew every time he tried to get by. I'll tell you our son is strong and strong willed!!!
Eventually Catherine had to leave because Matthew kept grabbing her and asking her to take him back to the ayi's. After she left it only got worse. Matthew eventually got down on his knees, clasped his hands together and begged, "Baba, Momma" and kept repeating a phrase which I found out to mean, "I want to go outside". It was so draining and emotional.
We eventually went outside but all Matthew wanted to do was get in the car and go find the ayis. We went inside, had a quick dinner (at which sweet Analiese fell immediately asleep, I so wish we would have had a camera to catch how adorable she looked!).
After dinner we all went upstairs. Matthew found the leapster and boy did he turn a corner. He played for a little, then jumped up, grabbed his bag, and said, "here Momma" as he removed all of the items from inside (other clothes and some snacks). It seemed like he had decided he wanted to stay.
After putting on pajamas and getting ready for bed, I told him that I loved him and he responded, "I love you" (in chinese of course!). Then when I put him into bed I got my first smile after I blew him a kiss and he blew one back!
He slept with Dave, woke up a few times, was reassured, put his head on Dave's shoulder and slept through the night!
Breakfast was uneventful, Matthew ate very well. Having only 6 teeth really did not stop him! It was after breakfast when we had to go to the Civil Affairs that he broke down again. He screamed and cried, told David, NO, STOP! several times. David was very firm with him. Matthew was distraught the entire time we were at civil affairs. But...off to WalMart we went and everything changed. Our son had his first shopping experience. Boy oh boy did he have a great time! He wanted everything. Some things I said yes to (a ball, some DVD's of his favorite cartoons, some books, a few toys and some snacks). He wanted to push the cart, hold my hand, find Baba and just do everything. He also showed his compassion for his sisters by picking out toys for them. He is just a sweet, sweet boy!
We then went to Pizza Hut for lunch where he just had a fun time with Sarah. He had never had pizza and loved every bite. We had Catherine ask him if he wanted to go to school (NO!!!), ask him about swimming (no that will kill me!) and just talk to him about his family. Since this afternoon he has been great. He runs around, sings, dances and laughs very hard. He talks lots and lots in Chinese and tries to mimic some things in English.
Poor Sarah is sick, it must be from something she ate. She just cannot keep anything down. It has been very hard for them. They were all very distressed to watch Matthew cry. Sarah cried and Gracie's heart was broken; she wanted to know if she had gotten that upset when we adopted her. I told her yes but told her that she eventually got happy and reminded her how happy she was and how much love she felt for us and we for her. That helped. Analiese has been worried that we were going to leave her, she remembers her adoption. When we left civil affairs she visibly relaxed.
I must say it has been exhausting. This has been the hardest of our trips. Matthew is so much older has so much more understanding of everything. The communication is the hardest, he has so many language skills. He tries to talk with us and really does a great job listening, but because we really can't tell him right from wrong it has been trying.
Tomorrow we plan on going to the Panda Park if Sarah is better(When I left to come down to business center Dave said he had a headache and a stomache ache). Let's hope everyone is better for tomorrow's adventures!
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, this is going to be a roller coaster. I sure hope we are up to what is to come!