The Birds, the Bees and BABIES!

The time has come for "The Talk" with Sarah. At 10 years old she is asking some very specific questions. She is questioning the answers I've given her in the past and wondering "how can that be??"!

Up until now she has been satisfied with, "Babies grow in Mommy's belly", "Married people have babies because they love each other", "Mommies have eggs and Daddies have sperm and together they make a baby", and "God sends babies".

I'm now getting questions like:

Sarah: "How do 16 year olds get pregnant if they aren't married?"
Me: "Umm, because they are irresponsible."
Sarah: "Oh, God says because you are irresponsible, I"m giving you a BABY?"
Me: "It's more complicated than that. When your sisters are not with us we'll talk about it".

And yet another:

Sarah: "How does the baby get in Mommy's belly?"
Me: "God"
Sarah: "I know God sends the baby but how does the egg and the sperm get together?"
Me: "Another complicated answer, let's take some time alone and talk about it."
Sarah: "OK"

So now I'm planning on our mother/daughter talk. When we arrived home from the beach I watched a Dr. Phil episode that I had taped....."How to talk with your kids about Sex!" How timely, how informative, how heaven-sent! Dr. Phil's guest was John Chirban, who authored a book, "What's Love Got to Do With It: Talking With Your Kids About Sex"..

During the show, taped segments of Dr. Chirban talking to tweens, pre-teens and teens about how much communication they've had with their parents regarding sex. It was interesting to hear their responses. Many of the kids said they wanted to have more information from their parents but that their parents were not comfortable discussing it. The parents of the kids readily agreed that they were uncomfortable because THEIR parents never had the talk with them!

I so can relate to that! My parents NEVER spoke to me about sex. All of my information came from my older sister, friends and books! I so want my children to feel comfortable coming to me (and Dave) when they have questions. I've always tried to give the kids just the right amount of information for their age about sexuality, babies and their bodies. Several years ago, I gave Sarah the book, "The Care and Keeping of Me".

She was able to look at it whenever she wanted and we discussed the things she read. I've talked with her about puberty and the changes her body will go through. The time has come to move the discussion up to a more advanced level. So, I've purchased a couple of books:

Growing Up: It's a Girl Thing" by Mavis Jukes

"What's Love Got to Do With It: Talking With Your Kids About Sex" by John T. Chirban

"The Feelings Book: The Care & Keeping of Your Emotions (American Girl)" by Norm Bendell;

"A Smart Girls Guide to Friendship Troubles" by Patti Kelley Criswell

As soon as they arrive, hopefully today, I'll sit down and have that Mother/Daughter talk. I sure hope I'm prepared for all of the questions she'll have. Poor Dave just thinks Sarah is way too young to find out about these things....just wait until she asks HIM a question!