Thursday, January 12, 2012

An angel to watch over them


A young mother of one of our gymnasts passed away today.    She fought a very hard and courageous battle against colon cancer.   For 18 months she did everything possible to become one of the cancer survivors.  Unfortunately she has become another victim.

I simply cannot imagine how this woman prepared her children for her death.  All day I've gotten teary just thinking about the tremendous sadness she must have felt when she realized that she was going to have to leave her family.  What things did she do to ensure that even though she would not be physically present while they were growing up, she would always be a part of their lives?   Did she write letters to be given to them at the important times in their lives?  Did she make videos for them to watch when they turned 13 or got their drivers license?  What about the advice she wanted to share with her daughter?  How did she capture that to be given at just the right times?

I've thought about what is the better way for a young child to lose a parent; suddenly without warning or slowly over time?  Is it better to have the time to say goodbye and start the grieving even before their death or is it best to simply just lose them one day?

As a mother I'd like to have the time to create something for my children.  Whether it's a video to be shown on the day of the prom or a letter to be given graduation day I'd want that opportunity to share what I imagined I'd say at those events.  I wouldn't want my daughter to wonder what her  mother would say when she started going through puberty or my son to wonder if his mother would care if he got a motorcycle.  I'd want to be able to tell them when the event occurred.  I'd want to be able to provide them with my thoughts, my words and my feelings.  I'd want them to know that my feelings, my thoughts and my advice, directly from me.  I can only pray that when it is my time to go that I will have had a lifetime of shared memories with my children.

My sadness over this mother's death will fade but the insight I have gained will stay with me for a lifetime.  Good bye Julie and thank you for having touched my life.  I hope that as a part of the gym family I can somehow return the favor by somehow making a difference in your daughter's life.












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