Another Lesson Learned

Well another lesson learned another corner turned. Yesterday David took the children to the store to drop off our laundry (yes a store!!). When they returned, Matthew ran into the bedroom portion of our suite and came out with a yo-yo. When I asked Dave if he purchased it he said no. Now I have been through all of Matthew's things, the majority of the items are ones that we gave to him and I have never come across a yo-yo.
I tried to ask Matthew where he got it from but no luck. When our guide came we asked that she question Matthew as to where he got the yo-yo. He simply refused to talk to her. At that point I had taken the yo-yo from him because he kept throwing it around in the air and would not listen when I told him no. He, of course,kept asking for it, over and over.
Later that evening, when Dave went to pick up our laundry he spoke to the shopkeeper and asked if she sold yo-yo's. Of course she did and lo and behold they were the same one that Matthew had. David explained to the young lady that Matthew had taken the yo-yo without paying and then asked her if she would take it back if we had Matthew return it; she said she would if it was still in the package. Of course it was not in the package so David paid for it.
Before leaving for dinner I slipped the yo-yo into my pocket and we made a detour back to the store. Matthew was very reluctant to go inside the store. Once inside I sat him down and out I pulled the yo-yo. Immediately his head went down. I had the young lady there explain to Matthew that we knew he had taken the yo-yo without paying for it and that it was very wrong to do that. She also had Matthew apologize to me. I then got a bag, put the yo-yo into it and gave it to the lady and told her to give it some other child. She immediately handed back to Matthew; I told her no that he had to understand that he does not get to keep something that he did not pay for.
After that Matthew was quiet and compliant. I hugged him and put my arm around him. He did not cry nor did he whine. Later, at another store, he actually pulled out his pockets to show me that he only had his money and his car in them. He was very proud of himself and we of him!
At dinner he showed me every opportunity he got how well he was eating and how he was using his manners. I complimented him each time.
It is hard to know when to look the other way and when to discipline because Matthew just has never learned appropriate behavior. We hate to harp on him day and night but the alternative is to look the other way which we absolutely cannot do.
So, our greatest challenge is to socialize this child in the gentlest way possible. What a task!