My intent today was to update the blog on our wonderful, busy, month of June. However, I woke up this morning with some time before I had to get the kids out of bed and took a moment to catch up on some of the blogs I love to read. Well, over and over I read about stories dealing with children, sick and dying children.
There are so many parents suffering because their little ones are fighting cancer, finding out their unborn baby will probably not survive and/or a brand new baby dying in spite of the best medical care.
How does a parent go on when the bottom has fallen out of their world? The grief would be unbearable, yet the need to continue on for the remaining children would be so important. How do you continue to wake up each morning knowing that the little child you loved so deeply for 8 long, or is short, years will never run through the house again?
Is it harder to lose a child who has been part of the family for years or to lose a newborn baby? Is there a comparison?
Today I spent some time chiding myself for complaining about my busy schedule with the girls. How many parents would give anything to be able to drive their child to a gym or the dance studio or watch them celebrate another birthday-- just one more time?
It wasn't that long ago that I struggled with infertility and grieved each and every month when I did not get pregnant. The pain I felt thinking that I would never hear someone call me Mom or be able to celebrate my child's accomplishments was, at times, overwhelming. The loss I faced when my first adoption fell through after the birth of the baby pushed me to the brink -- I remember having to make the decision to either get up and get on with my life or die right there on my couch.
And that grief was for the child(ren) I never thought I would have. Now that I have children that grief is only a portion of what I imagine I would feel if I lost one of them.
Today I said some prayers for the Chapman family, Ellie's parents, Jake's parents, Cohen's Mom and Dad, Kate and her family, and for the nameless others who are all grieving and fighting a battle for their children. I then prayed for the health and well being of my children.
And then I woke up my children, and the 4 other girls who spent the night, to begin our wonderfully busy, crazy day! Thank you God for this day and for the many, many more days in which I will get to spend with these special gifts.
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